Teenagers And Depression: The Disappearing Teenage Experience

[TTL News 311]

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I am torn, in the debate about teenage isolation and smartphone use, between my dislike for seeming a fuddy-duddy and my real concern about how friendship works among teenagers in 2023. Yes, there are still some teens who go out with friends, hang out in basements, throw the occasional kegger. But I see many, including my older daughter, spending most of their time at home rather than out with their peers. Even my younger kid, who’s much more willing to try to make plans, ends up by herself much more often than I ever did at that age.

I remind myself that it’s folly to compare their childhoods with memories of my own—memories that are surely weighted toward fun outings, rather than the many unmemorable nights I must have spent at home. (It’s not an accident I know so many episodes of The Simpsons by heart.) And anyway, much of the time that my kids spend in their rooms, which I instinctively see as “wasted,” is, in fact, social. It’s just social in a way that doesn’t make natural sense to me. It’s spent texting people they met on the internet, or watching and making TikToks, or chatting in a Discord with people who love the exact same animes or whatever.

Indeed, when my fellow parents bemoan the time our children spend online, I often make an optimistic counterargument: When we were growing up, we were stuck with whatever kids were in our high school, whether we had anything in common with them or not. These days, the entire world of teenagers is open to you. My 17-year-old, for example, has a direct line to people who share her identity, who understand her experience, who love the things she loves. Could she pluck from the haystack of her high school the needle of a person who analyzes Madoka Magica, rages about politics, and listens to Carly Rae Jepsen on loop? Maybe. More likely, no such needle exists. But she can find plenty such people online. What a gift!

And yet, the crisis in teen mental health deepens, and teens spend less and less time hanging out. We parents try to figure it out. Is there a causal connection between these two facts, and could it be related to smartphone use? Is it the pressure of social media? Perhaps the problem is a society that doesn’t offer enough “third spaces,” where kids can be out of the house but not hassled by authorities or salespeople. Or that every kid’s calendar is packed with SAT tutoring or crew practice. (It is wild how much time the crew team spends practicing! Really, aren’t they just rowing?) Is it the pandemic, or climate anxiety, or grade stress, or economic panic, or a car-centric world? Almost certainly, the problem is a combination of all these things, in different measures for every kid. That’s what most parents I know say when we discuss it, which is all the time.

 

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[MsKreed 1,191]

7 minutes ago, Elmira Telegram said:

Indeed, when my fellow parents bemoan the time our children spend online, I often make an optimistic counterargument: When we were growing up, we were stuck with whatever kids were in our high school, whether we had anything in common with them or not. These days, the entire world of teenagers is open to you. My 17-year-old, for example, has a direct line to people who share her identity, who understand her experience, who love the things she loves.

This is an extremely unhealthy argument.

Having real-world opportunities to expose yourself to diverse ideas and learn how to navigate differences is not being “stuck”....it’s the very definition of growth and maturity.

Being immersed in an echo-chamber of online personas that are carefully curated to appear in harmony severely impedes that 17-year-old’s development as a person.