Happy Birthday to my turning-seventeen today granddaughter!!!  We’re sending virtual gifts of joy and delight, courage and wisdom and wish we could send a yummy birthday cake!

It is also, according to the Monday Morning Epistle from the Burdett Presbyterian church, “White Tee Shirt Day” “Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Day” and “Peppermint Patty Day”.  And elsewhere I heard it was “Make A New Friend Day”.  So this is obviously a day worth singing about!

Hasn’t February been fun so far?  Of course, if you don’t reside in a frequent storm path, perhaps life hasn’t been quite as exciting.  Someone has been singing “Let it snow, let it snow…” because we’ve had snow upon snow upon snow.   This has been the first winter I have seen our outside cats persistently try to sneak in.  None of us have seen actual ground since Christmas.  And cats really do not like being confined to a few paths between towering snow banks; there has been some angry snarling at intersections.  I’m rather thankful though, for in spite of the snowy inconvenience, we need moisture.  We had so little rain last season, and hopefully these drifts will replenish the water table.

February is the month of hearts and flowers; of lingerie and lace; of birthdays (for us) and valentines!!  A delightful little poem by Robert Louis Stevenson* entitled “My Valentine” speaks to our love of romance:  “I will make you brooches and toys for your delight, Of bird song at morning and star-shine at night.  I will make a palace fit for you and me, of green days in forests and blue days at sea.”

Valentine’s Day actually honors a clergy-person (either priest or bishop) who ministered to persecuted Christians during the third century AD.   Valentine was arrested and later executed for his positions disagreeing with the ruling government of Rome.   He sent notes from prison to his friends signed “Your Valentine”.  He died c. 269 and was later canonized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church.  Our February 14th customs are far from those beginning roots, but both roots and blossoms have to do with love.   St. Valentine exhibited Agape (all-encompassing) love and today’s celebration usually features Eros (romantic) and Philios (brotherly) love.  But it is all about loving and caring for people in our lives, and we all need to be doing that.

Amid our concern for others, we do often forget that caring for ourselves is also a wise thing to do.  Actually, many of us were taught to not think of ourselves at all, which can be detrimental,   I recently saw a slogan that said: “Spend time on your wellness or you will be forced to spend time on your illness.”   This is not to say that we can control all illness. We can’t!   Some ailments are just facts of life on earth.  But neglect of basic health habits does leave us open to health issues we might not otherwise have.  We do have some control over how we live.  Unfortunately, until I was well into my 50s, I was super at not practicing what I preached.   There are consequences for that; the body eventually rebels.   Eating whole foods, keeping the body moving, getting fresh air and good sleep are not just suggestions.  Those practices are the basics for vibrant health.  Maybe that’s why vitamins are named “A”, “B”, “C” etc. like little kids’ building blocks

It is also true that the thoughts that linger in our minds and our resulting attitudes impact our health.  If we spend our waking hours wallowing in gloom, in accumulating the world’s problems like a mop attracting dust, in feeling cheated and resentful or angry and stressed, our immune systems will eventually have a sit-down strike.   There are therapists who believe that an unforgiving spirit, untended trauma, or a lingering sense of “poor, poor me” will result in serious bodily illness.  One of my brothers, who tended to have strong opinions (actually all my brothers had strong opinions), insisted that we could keep from getting sick by simply determining to stay well.  Sometimes mind over matter does work!  I think it worked often for him -- or maybe he was just too stubborn to admit that he felt badly.   For me, sometimes a positive attitude (plus elderberry elixir and Vitamin C) has worked; sometimes it hasn’t.  The mind is a strange and curious thing.

A condition that has plagued me for a while is a combination of arthritis and fibromyalgia.   There are certainly times when I have to medicate for pain.  But often, I can distract my mind from what hurts by exercises and walking, by finding a project that keeps me totally invested or by traveling to another place via a good book.  Music helps too.  Filling my ears and mind with Beethoven, the Irish Rovers or Ann’s Praise Songs, leaves less room for the pain to register.  I think the mind uses these things to trigger its own opiates for pain.   An amusing side note: I broke my ankle many years ago and, naturally, was in some pain, especially at night when I was trying to sleep.  So I would listen to a tape (yes, way back when there were cassette tapes) that my singing group (Spencer Singers) had made.  It worked ---- I always fell asleep after a short time.  The down-side is that now, whenever I hear that particular music --- or try to sing it --- I begin yawning.   Once trained --- the mind remembers!!

Our psyches are also badly affected by two closely-related emotions; fear and anxiety.  There is so much happening to stir these emotions in today’s world.   Some comes from too much “breaking news”, some from financial worries or work situations------- and some is triggered deliberately by manipulative people.  Peter Tremayne** in one of his books says; “In times of uncertainty, fear is the unifying force.  Fear binds people together in a way that cannot be achieved by any other means.  Those who would convert people back to the old ways need fear ---- need something that will drive everyone back to the paths of darkness.”  Probably all of us when making decisions --- whether personal, political or professional ------ should ask ourselves what is driving our choices.  If it is the fear, is the fear rational or an imaginary bogy-man created by someone who wants to frighten us for their own reasons?   And really, should we ever let fear and anxiety drive away our good sense, our daily happiness or joy in living?    

Even being aware of these things, my happiness or unhappiness has been frequently tied to outside circumstances.  If the sun shines, I’m happy ---- if it is a cloudy day, I’m slightly grumpy.  If I don’t burn the batch of cookies, I’m happy.  Charred cookies not so much!  Actually, barring immediate tragedy, happiness is a choice; a decision we make.   The atmosphere over the air waves, for the past year, has been of gloom and doom.   I was falling into the trap of looking at the day through emotional dark glasses.  This region has little enough winter sun; we don’t need the added gray filter of whatever headline news is hitting the world.  So, in a rare moment of clarity, I just decided to try to face each day happily if at all possible.  I have to frequently remind myself for it isn’t yet a habit, but my days have been noticeably better than when my mood was over- dependent on outside influences.  A pertinent computer post:  “Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.***  Awareness and gratitude!

Gratitude that we are nearly half-way through February!  And awareness of good things to come!   Valentine’s Day is Sunday.  Lent begins next Wednesday.  I understand the Mardi Gras will be quite different this year.  Since there can be no festivals or parades, many who live in New Orleans are decorating their houses with float facades.   It would be fun to see.  But even here in the cold north-east, we can still celebrate Shrove Tuesday with pancakes or doughnuts and maybe even blow up a few balloons.  And perhaps consider, how will we make Lent a special time for spiritual growth.

Some of my seed orders have gone in, which is cheering.  It is hard to visualize gardens right now, when surrounded by banks of white.  Late winter does have its own beauty though. Sara Teasdale*** was good at describing the white silence and cold of “February Twilight”:  “I stood beside a hill smooth with new-laid snow; a single star looked out from the cold evening glow.  There was no other creature that saw what I could see ---- I stood and watched the evening star as long as it watched me.”  Do enjoy these chilly, clear evenings and sing out happiness now, even as we look forward to balmier breezes and green grass.

Carol may be reached at: carol42wilde@htva.net

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*Robert Louis Stevenson--- Scottish novelist, poet, essayist and travel writer.  In addition to his poetry, he wrote Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Kidnapped and Treasure Island.  1850-1894 (not a long life.)

**Peter Tremayne --- from “Dancing With Demons”--- his Sister Fidelma mysteries are really good reads.  Peter Tremayne is a pen name for his well-researched mysteries in Ireland involving Irish customs and the early church.

***M. Hale ---- taken from a Face Book post.

****Sara Teasdale---American lyric poet.  1884-1933