We are in the last quarter of the year; October, whose birth stone is the fire opal and flower is the marigold, takes us into mid-fall.  My flowers still in bloom are chocolate eupatorium and monkshood/wolfbane/aconite (ref. Harry Potter).  Leaves on trees are turning, days are crisper and darkness comes too soon.  It is the season of glowing.  We were recently away for a few days on Cape Cod.  Our sons and their families joined us to de-stress and find a change of scenery.  We went on a whale watch, out of Provincetown --- always a magnificent experience if only for the vastness of the sea.  Then there is something stunning/amazing/spiritual about seeing a whale up close.  This time there were many, and they kept us in awe as they emerged around us, roiling the waters with their tails and, with huge mouths open, pulling in the fish.  We probably saw 29 or 30 different whales, mostly hump-backs but also finbacks and minkes.  This was quite the most awe-inspiring whale venture I’ve been on.  The Cape is a lovely place to be in the fall.  The salt and fresh-water pond grasses gleam golden and the sea breezes seem to cleanse the lungs.

If you’ve read much of my writing, you’ve noted that in addition to experiences, I enjoy things, from flowers in the garden to tea pots on the shelf.  It is true; I’m a “things” person ---- a visual person.  If I come upon Pink Tower Spode porcelain, or pink or green Depression glass, I can immediately “see” it on my table.  But --- at the same time I’ve been trying to accept the Biblical directive to hold things lightly.  (A friend recently wrote about this too; see Linda Roorda’s “Poetic Devotions” blog back in late August or early Sept.)  Over these many years of living, I’ve come to a place where I actually am able to hold lightly most of my possessions.   There are a few things that I might find difficult to hand over to someone, but most things, if they were needed/wanted by someone else, I’d be glad to share them.  Then I found his amazing story that really defines holding things lightly.

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream.  The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food.  The hungry traveler saw the stone and asked the woman to give it to him.  She did, without hesitation.  The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune.  He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.  But a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.  “I’ve been thinking” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.  Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”*

I don’t think I’m there yet!  But I can clearly see that this is the antithesis to today’s materialism.  In our current culture, we are bound, hand, foot and mind by the need for things.  Face Book is riddled with ads as are U-Tube videos.  Commercial TV spends more time showing ads than programming.  Remember last year when stores (and customers) were all in a panic because the ships full of commercial goods --- mostly manufactured in Asia ----were still at sea?   What would happen to Christmas?  Really?  Christmas is the celebration of the birth of a man who held no possessions except the clothes on his back.  If our Christmases rely on the “perfect” commercial gift, then we need to reconsider Christmas, and maybe think about the hold possessions have on our lives.

After my mother died, we had to empty her house.  Thankfully, she had marked many things with names of those to whom they were to go.  But there was considerable stuff left unmarked.  And while there were no serious disagreements, there was a smidgeon of sighing and discontent. I remember a comment from one family member when she got back home with her treasures.  She said: “I found that Grandma’s things weren’t what I really wanted; I wanted Grandma!”  That comment helped me to give my sister-in-law something she wanted that I had.  We all clutch at precious items, hoping that they will bring security or happiness; that they will bring back the days we want to remember; the people we cherish.  And briefly, they do.  I like using dishes my mother used and seeing items that she painted.  But those fine memories would still be mine without the mementoes.  Once love is planted it continues to grow.  And memories of good times can be recalled at will.

Turning back the clock to days of simpler amusements and fewer “things” is quite unlikely.  People will not give up their phones-in-hand or the electronic games that currently mesmerize both kids and adults.  Nor will we slow the progress of technology that keeps inventing new and glitzy wonders.  And we shouldn’t!   But hopefully, in a generation or two, their “magic” will become less addictive.  Meanwhile, we all need to take responsibility for promoting experiences that speak to the mind, spirit and heart.   I consider our whale watch one of those, though, admittedly, there were many phones out taking photos.   But when was the last time you went walking with a friend, scuffing in the falling leaves?   In what winter did you last go sledding?  Have you ever read aloud on Christmas Eve --- “In those days, a decree went out from Caeser Augustus…..”** or “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!…Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  Maybe Christmas – perhaps – means a little bit more.”?***  Have you picnicked beside a stream or lake, just enjoying the sounds and sights?  Have you laid out a puzzle for family fun?  Sat around a campfire? Started projects together?  Star-watched late at night?    Attitudes are taught and if the teaching “takes” people will eventually come full circle to recognize the really fine things of life.

October can be a month with marvelous weather -- blue skies, cool temperatures and autumn aromas.  Of course, I can also recall occasional sleet and gusty winds.  Sweaters and socks come out for daily wear.  Garden salad season is over and I’m thinking of soups for dinner.  The Mock Turtle warbles: “Soup --- beautiful soup…..”*****  for good reason; soups are comforting.  They can be elaborate or simple.  French Onion soup has many steps.  I have made a gourmet potato soup that is nectar in a bowl, but it is labor-intensive.  For daily use, I tend to go for “refrigerator soup” ---- a good broth and whatever is in the refrigerator needing to be used.  My soups generally have a meat base or at least, broth, but if pushed, I can do a pretty good vegetarian concoction.    To reassure the Mock Turtle, whose meat was a delicacy a century ago, I have no turtle soup recipes.   

Our gardens are looking better.  Our compost heap is now enriched by heaps and piles of decaying green, weeds.  I do wish we still had rabbit or chicken manure to help the composting along.   Perhaps I could train the wild turkeys to walk through the compost, depositing their droppings on their way back up the hill.  😊   

Working in the garden is (in decent weather) a refreshing at-home activity for my head-clearing.   Our recent mini-vacation was great at getting away from the every-day-ness but gardening requires no travel and provides fresh air and exercise.  We need both kinds of breaks for healthy living.  We humans tend to think we can’t --- or even shouldn’t --- get off the treadmill.  What sense of “we’re not enough” makes us resist taking care of ourselves? Our bodies and minds are our most precious possessions.  Gratitude for our existence should inspire good care.  And, as Anne Lamott**** said: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes--- including you.”  Because it is difficult to stop running, I thought this daily practice, suggested by Deepak Chopra was excellent.

“Take five minutes every day and just sit in silence.  In that time put these questions to your attention and heart:  Who am I?  What do I want from my life?  What do I want from my life today?  Then let go, and let your stream of consciousness, your quiet inner voice, supply the answers.  Then after five minutes, write them down.  Do this every day and you’ll be surprised at how situations, circumstances, events and people will orchestrate themselves around the answers.

And at the same time, we can take pleasure in the wonders of autumn ---- intangibles ---- glowing leaves and rime of frost----- things we perhaps are accustomed to seeing and smelling every October ---- but things which still qualify as annual miracles.

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Carol may be reached at: carol42wilde@htva.net.

.  *The Wise Woman’s Stone” ---- author unknown

**The Bible from the Book of Luke, Chapter 2.

***How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss --- actually Theodore Seuss Geisel, an American cartoonist and author of wonderful children’s books that adults enjoy reading out loud.  1904-1991.

**Michel de Montaigne -- one of the most significant philosophers of the French Renaissance.  He popularized essays as an accepted literary genre, and had great influence on later great writers.  1533-1502.

***’Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll.  If you have never read these classics, you should do it now, no matter what your age.  Lewis Carroll was a British author, poet and mathematician.  He was well-known for his facility with word play, logic and fantasy.  His poems --- “Jabberwocky” and “The Hunting of the Snark” are gems of literary nonsense.  1832-1898.

**** Anne Lamott --- American writer of both fiction and non-fiction; writing teacher and political activist as well as religious philosopher.

*****Deepak Chopra is an Indian-American author and alternative medicine advocate.